Updated: Feb 21, 2021
It is easy to let self-doubt and fear consume our thoughts. We create an image of ourselves over the years and this can become hard wired in our minds. It is important that we commit the time and energy in boosting our self-confidence to allow us the chance to reach our potential and feel successful in our lives.
1. Change your mind and change your thoughts
Confidence comes from being able to control our thoughts. We need to work on our mindset in the same way we commit to training our bodies for fitness through exercise. Training our mind should be easier; you can do it every day, anywhere and anytime. We are not limited in our access to the appropriate equipment or space like we can be with fitness and exercise.
We have 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts every day which averages about 3,000 every hour. If we can learn to manage our thoughts better, then we can control how we feel about ourselves. It can be a difficult cycle to break as negative emotions create negative thoughts; which reinforce the negative emotions. Whatever you present your mind with, it believes. Commit to presenting it good things every day.
When I committed myself to shift my mindset to be more positive, I started to become aware of the negative sources of information in my life. I found the news and certain social media accounts to be centred around doom and gloom. A large part of my mindset journey took place during the Corona virus pandemic. Boris Johnson was giving updates every evening. It was so easy to focus on the hard parts of life. I was living on my own, a single parent, seemingly a world away from my family (or certainly a germ filled flight). By removing these negative information sources, I was controlling the information that I was feeding my mind. I committed to instead fill my mind with new knowledge and positive material. My commitment to fill my mind with uplifting content that inspires me has helped to fill me with optimism for the future.
2. Focus on the things you can control I love a list! I love the sense of achievement I get from ticking things off of my list as I get them done. By creating a list, I can break the day into manageable chunks. It gives me direction and helps to calm my overwhelmed mind. Recording a list for the day and the week helps me to prioritize what is the most important to complete. One of the other parts of a list that I like is that I can only include what I have control over on it. If an aspect or outcome is out of my control, then it does not make it onto my to do list. Big dreams and big plans can be overwhelming. The pressures of everyday life can also be daunting. By breaking big tasks or a seemingly chaotic week into manageable tasks on my to do list, it makes me feel as if I am taking steps to achieving the big dream or coping successfully with the pressures of life. During the first Covid lockdown when we were all forced to change our routines and daily life, I realised that for a large part, the virus and the restrictions were out of my control. When I stopped allowing the news and social media reports to fill me with worry and fear, I started to focus on enjoying the small things in my daily life. You are in control of how you act in the here and now. We cannot control the thoughts or actions of other people. We also cannot control the past or the future. Focus on finding joy in the present moment.
3. Fake it until you make it Your mind believes what you tell it daily. Feed it amazing things about yourself every day. Breathe positivity, think confidence and visualise your AMAZING self repeatedly. Eventually this is the person you will become! Children don’t place limits on their abilities. Their imagination creates a world where they can be anything. They can have ‘super gecko grip’ as my son proudly announces on a regular basis. This allows him to climb things that his mind may otherwise doubt his ability to do. Children can be animals, superheroes, kings and queens or anything else their mind desires. When do we lose the ability to use our imagination to create the life we desire? Allow yourself to go back to your child-like mind. What is your adult superpower? If you were living the life of your dreams, what skills would you possess? What job would you have? Where would you live? Who would you be surrounded by? Imagine your ‘successful life’ in as much detail as possible. What does success look like for you? Now is the time to dream it, believe you can achieve it, and start taking small steps toward it.